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JON ZAL: Ye Olde Blog

Ye Olde Blog

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Life

Moving on … but you can come with me.

October 16, 2017 7 Comments

NOTE: If the post below is the first and only thing you’ve ever read on my blog, you should read this other post first. Thanks.

I launched this blog almost 12 years ago. The writing I’ve done here, and the feedback I’ve gotten from many of you, has made this the most fulfilling creative endeavor of my life thus far.

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Filed Under: Daddy Scratches, Life, Politics

I’ve narrowly cheated death yet again

July 21, 2017 38 Comments

Jon Zal's tombstone

There are many downsides to being a hypochondriac … but it does have its benefits. Take yesterday, for example.

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Filed Under: Daddy Scratches, Life Tagged With: Greatest Hits

Oh, Chris … not you too …

May 24, 2017 Leave a Comment

corneltim

I got out of the Army in 1991, one week before Christmas. My brother’s gift to me that year was Soundgarden’s “Badmotorfinger.” I was a short-haired, 21-year-old, ex-military cop with my sights set on a career in law enforcement.

Less than two years later, I was a long-haired, college-radio DJ whose daily attire consisted of beat-up combat boots, ripped jeans, flannel shirts and a leather biker jacket. I had discovered I could write, and I no longer wanted to be a cop. Chris Cornell’s voice featured prominently on the soundtrack to my transformation.

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Filed Under: Daddy Scratches, Life, Music

I was going to do some writing, but then A.D.D. and Facebook and WTF were we just talking about?

December 2, 2015 4 Comments

I’ve been meaning to write something awesome … but then this porcupine ate a pumpkin:

I think we can all agree that that is some critically important shit right there, people … and, if not for Facebook, I might have missed it while squandering my time in pursuit of my greatest dreams and ambitions.

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Filed Under: Daddy Scratches, Life, Writing

Dear Gene Simmons of KISS, a.k.a. My Childhood Hero: I think there’s been a terrible misunderstanding. Either that, or you’re an overly sensitive dick. (I’m hoping it’s the first one.)

September 21, 2015 9 Comments

Dear Gene,

I’m not sure if you remember me. It’s been a while since I last wrote to you. Thirty-six years, in fact. Here, let me refresh your memory:

My letter to Gene Simmons of KISS, May 1979
Actual letter I typed to KISS in 1979
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Filed Under: Daddy Scratches, Life, Music

#WarriorDown

September 14, 2015 27 Comments

I called him “Shep,” like, at least two or three times before finally realizing that I’d misremembered (yes, that’s a word now) his last name; it was “Sam Shelby,” not “Sam Shepard.” It was our first day working together, and there I am, calling him “Shep” … repeatedly … because I’m a douche. Of course, when I finally realized (with no small amount of embarrassment) the mistake I’d been making, Sam merely laughed it off and took it upon himself to make the moment far less uncomfortable and awkward than I deserved for it to be … because that’s just who he was.
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Filed Under: Daddy Scratches, Life

The nuclear option … or, Why I’ve erased my children from the blogosphere

September 1, 2015 16 Comments

My anonymous kids

“Hey Dad, what the hell is this website we found containing tons of pictures of, and stories about, us? Also, you’re a jerk and we hate you.”—My children, circa some point in the not-too-distant future

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Filed Under: Daddy Scratches, Jayna, Life, Parenthood, Writing, Zan

Real-estate shaming: The newest trend in pre-adolescent douchebaggery

May 26, 2015 16 Comments

Take a look at this screen capture and tell me what you see:

zillow

Chances are you see the homepage of Zillow.com, a site where one can go and look up the supposed value of any given home. That’s what I used to see, too.

Now? Now I see this:

Allow me to explain.

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Filed Under: Daddy Scratches, Life, Parenthood, Zan

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YE OLDE BLOG

FYI: If you’re reading this, it means you’re in the section of my site that comprises posts from my old, pre-JONZAL.com blog. If you want some more background info about that, you can read this post. If you’re interested in browsing through more of these old posts, you can see them in reverse-chronological order by starting here, or by using the dropdown menu in the “ARCHIVES” box shown below. And if you’d rather just get back to the main area of JONZAL.com, click/tap here.

Top Posts

  • Moving on ... but you can come with me.
    Moving on ... but you can come with me.
  • I've narrowly cheated death yet again
    I've narrowly cheated death yet again
  • Oh, Chris ... not you too ...
    Oh, Chris ... not you too ...
  • This one hurts
    This one hurts
  • I was going to do some writing, but then A.D.D. and Facebook and WTF were we just talking about?
    I was going to do some writing, but then A.D.D. and Facebook and WTF were we just talking about?
  • Dear Gene Simmons of KISS, a.k.a. My Childhood Hero: I think there's been a terrible misunderstanding. Either that, or you're an overly sensitive dick. (I'm hoping it's the first one.)
    Dear Gene Simmons of KISS, a.k.a. My Childhood Hero: I think there's been a terrible misunderstanding. Either that, or you're an overly sensitive dick. (I'm hoping it's the first one.)
  • #WarriorDown
    #WarriorDown
  • The nuclear option ... or, Why I've erased my children from the blogosphere
    The nuclear option ... or, Why I've erased my children from the blogosphere
  • Real-estate shaming: The newest trend in pre-adolescent douchebaggery
    Real-estate shaming: The newest trend in pre-adolescent douchebaggery
  • In the fairy-tale version of this story, I would have hit an epic home run
    In the fairy-tale version of this story, I would have hit an epic home run

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RECENT COMMENTS

  • Tanushree on Moving on … but you can come with me.Hello - I started reading your blog 12 years ago as company during lunch at my desk. 12 years on,...
  • Jon Zal on Moving on … but you can come with me.Thank you, Julie! :)
  • Julie on Moving on … but you can come with me.Happy for you, Jon! I'll come with you. Your story about Baby Tink and Poop is still the funniest thing...
  • Jon Zal on Moving on … but you can come with me.Here, yes. Thanks for sticking around, my friend. :)
  • Jon Zal on Moving on … but you can come with me.Thank you so much, Lauren. I really appreciate it. Thanks for sharing those words with me. Happy to hear you’re...
  • Lauren on Moving on … but you can come with me.Jon I'm not sure I've ever commented before but I've absolutely loved reading your posts over the years and have...
  • Dave on Moving on … but you can come with me.Last post!
  • Jon Zal on I’ve narrowly cheated death yet againI'm here to help. :)
  • ACWMH on I’ve narrowly cheated death yet againExhausting to be you, sure. But think of it this way: you're not only living your own life, raising the...
  • Valerie on This one hurtsI just came across your post and found it really echoed what I wrote myself. Including the link to the...

ABOUT ME

Jon Zal @ The Capitol

I was born in 1970, raised just outside of Boston, and now live near Philadelphia. As a child, I thought I was going to be…
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TWITTER

Jon Zal 🇺🇦 Follow 23,791 55,189

Husband, father, writer, podcaster, drummer, Army vet (M.P. K-9), ex-music journalist • BLOG: https://t.co/wkEwZclWEe • IG: https://t.co/9PB3Virbbu #BlackLivesMatter

jon_zal
jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
19h 1527048185184718848

Read the fucking room, monkeypox.

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
13 May 1525181765811421185

Thank you, @jrpsaki, for restoring dignity, respect, professionalism, competency, and, most importantly, truth to the White House briefing room. You were exactly the right person at exactly the right time.

Thank you, @jrpsaki, for restoring dignity, respect, professionalism, competency, and, most importantly, truth to the White House briefing room. You were exactly the right person at exactly the right time.
Sarah Reese Jones @PoliticusSarah

Jen Psaki gets emotional while thanking everyone at her 224 and final White House press briefing.

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
13 May 1525176286951481347

Brought to you by the same people who don’t want bakeries to make wedding cakes for same-sex couples, no doubt.

Brought to you by the same people who don’t want bakeries to make wedding cakes for same-sex couples, no doubt.
Three Rural White Guys Podcast 🌊 @RuralThree

What grooming and indoctrination *actually* looks like. A ten year old's birthday cake.

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
13 May 1525122864558526464

I am confused by the “I am pro-force-rape-victims-to-give-birth but also pro-starve-brown-babies-to-death” crowd.

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
13 May 1525122130987388928

When you decide to do business with a clown, don’t be surprised when he turns the deal into a circus.

The New York Times @nytimes

Breaking News: Elon Musk said his $44 billion deal to take over Twitter was “on hold” until he gathered more details about spam and fake accounts on the site. https://nyti.ms/3wbRnZJ

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
12 May 1524881117576323073

Gotta tell ya: For a super-involved parent who spent, like, a decade of springs coaching Little League for my son & daughter, this whole “Let them leave the nest” stage is a real challenge. 🥺

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
12 May 1524848759431217160

This week has been a very long year.

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
11 May 1524202854055129089

Dear Frustrated Progressives/Democrats:

The answer to Joe Manchin is not “Fuck it; I give up”; it’s “Let’s elect a couple more Democrats who’ll get rid of the filibuster and save American democracy.”

We’re so fucking close. Don’t give up now.

#VOTE

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Photographic evidence that I occasionally leave th Photographic evidence that I occasionally leave the house. Rare … but it happens.
Go @RedSox! #OpeningDay Go @RedSox!
#OpeningDay
New profile pic. Previous one was six years old. S New profile pic. Previous one was six years old. Started to feel like a lie.

Longest my hair's been in 18 years. Planning to let it keep growing for a bit. Not gonna let it get as long as it was Back In The Day (read: down to my chest), but ... I need a change.

Anyway ... that's me now. 👋🏻
Just gutted by this loss. Van Halen, Rolling Sto Just gutted by this loss. 

Van Halen, Rolling Stones & Foo Fighters. That’s my Big Three … and of those three, there’s only one I was banking on as a go-to active interest for the next couple of decades. 

As with Van Halen, I fell in love with Foo Fighters not only because of the music, but because of the fun those guys had with, and love they had for, each other.

Had plans in place to go see Foos play in Oregon this October for the final stop on their now-canceled tour. Can’t believe I won’t get to see Dave & Taylor play together again. 

Dave was the first interview I ever did with someone who wasn’t a member of Van Halen. He let me call him at home one weekend, 22 years ago. Two East Coast guys, same age, drummers, music lovers, shooting the shit on a Saturday afternoon. It remains one of my favorite memories. 

I briefly met Taylor in Austin, TX, back in 2006 when he and his solo band somehow got put up at the same shitty Holiday Inn as me. He was very kind, gracious and cool to this awkward, socially anxious fanboy. Saw him play live that night, his drum kit positioned at the front lip of the stage so he could sing lead and play drums at the same time. Great set. 

I am absolutely gutted thinking about what Dave is going through right now. 

Hadn’t been playing much in recent months. Been sweating it right the fuck out every day since Taylor passed, though. Nonstop Foo Fighters & Nirvana play-along sessions. Only way I’ve been able to channel the grief. Glad I have that outlet. (Thanks for getting my ass behind the kit again, Taylor.)

Really hoping Dave finds a way to make peace with this tragic loss and keep being the joyful soul & inspiration he’s been to so many of us for so long now. 

#RIPTaylorHawkins 🥁💔
#FooFighters
My weekend? Awesome, thanks. How 'bout yours? Ret My weekend? Awesome, thanks. How 'bout yours?

Returned home Sunday and all is well now, but ... man, for a guy who not once in 52 years spent a night at the hospital or experienced a serious medical emergency, I made up for it in spades last week.

Celebrated Valentine's Day with my first colonoscopy. Couple small polyps removed. No cancer found, and no other problems. "Return in five years." Yay! 🥳

Fast forward to last Thursday (2/24), at which time large quantities of nothing but blood began exiting my body via an orifice from which large quantities of blood should not pass. So that was disconcerting.

Pro-Tip™: A good way to skip the wait at the ER is to show them a picture of a toilet bowl filled with nothing but your own blood and then pass out.

Three mostly sleepless beep-filled nights, one CT scan, a couple IV bags, several bazillion blood draws & some bad hospital food later, I was home without any further issues, and, thankfully, no surgery or other medical intervention required.

But, yeah ... hoping to never do that again. 🥴

So, uh, anyway ... how you doin'?
Happy #nationalmargaritaday. 🍹 Happy #nationalmargaritaday. 🍹
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