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JON ZAL: Ye Olde Blog

Ye Olde Blog

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In the fairy-tale version of this story, I would have hit an epic home run

June 17, 2013 14 Comments

Jon @ the Home-Run Derby

That previous post really set the stage for an exciting, emotional, underdog-makes-good kind of ending, didn’t it? (If you didn’t read it yet, you should.) Imagine it: the shrimpy, non-baseball-playing kid scarred from his less-than-enjoyable Little League experience steps to the plate more than three decades later and belts one over the fence.

Oh, if only. sigh

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Filed Under: Baseball, Life

Take Me Out to the Therapist… Take Me Out to the Shrink…

June 5, 2013 6 Comments

The game of baseball has become a major part of my family’s life … which, based on the following photo, should come as a surprise to no one. I mean, let’s face it: when your background includes playing on a team of this caliber, your family is pretty much guaranteed a baseball-rich life:

Topeka

I’ll point myself out in a moment, but first: How ’bout that coach, huh? He makes Morris Buttermaker look like Anthony Robbins. Of course, in his defense: Look at the collection of misfits he had to work with. I would suggest that his lack of enthusiasm was well justified.

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Filed Under: Baseball, Life

Burger King spiked my co-worker’s fries with a mind-altering substance

January 31, 2013 11 Comments

Burger King "food"

It all started with a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich. We ran out of sliced turkey … and, being the financially sensible (read: broke) person that I am, I decided that, rather than eat out, I would bring to work a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich.

Lunchtime arrived. I was weak. Faint. Famished. I ate the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich. It was, shall we say, less than satisfying.

I was starving. To death, even. Death was imminent, is what I’m saying, OK? Don’t judge me.

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Filed Under: Cubicle, Life

Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”

January 25, 2012 48 Comments

One of the many adorable puppies we will not be getting.

Dear My Children:

I’m sorry, but you’re not going to wear me down on this one. Sometimes Daddy has to be a dick. This is one of those times.

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Filed Under: Life, Parenthood Tagged With: Greatest Hits

If I had been any closer to the stage at that Van Halen show the other night, I’d be carrying Eddie’s baby

January 11, 2012 35 Comments

I knew going into last Thursday night’s Van Halen concert that, based solely on the size of the venue, I’d be fairly close to the stage … but I didn’t know I’d be THIS close:

Van Halen stage setup

No, seriously:

I sat really close to the stage at the Van Halen show

(I also didn’t know that the band was picking up everyone’s bar tab … which is a shame, because, had I found that out prior to the end of the show, I’m certain I could have done a hell of a lot more damage than three bottles of Sam Adams. Just sayin’.)

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Filed Under: Music, Van Halen

Zombie Dinner Party … with your chef, Dr. Hannibal Lector

November 16, 2011 28 Comments

Before dinner

“Ugh. Brains,” I whispered to my wife after the chef announced that the third course would include sweetbreads.

“What?”

“Sweetbreads,” I whispered, “are brains.”

“Oh,” she said, sounding rather amused, though far from relieved. “I thought they were balls.”

Hey, they might as well have been balls, because guess what brains and balls both have in common? Neither one goes in my mouth.

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Filed Under: Life

That trip to Mexico I keep meaning to tell you about, which almost didn’t happen because of my unrivaled ability to be a complete and utter moron

February 7, 2011 33 Comments

About two hours into our flight from Philadelphia to Cancun, I discovered that I had committed The Biggest Fuck-Up of All Time … like, to the extent that I knew it would be best for my marriage if I just went ahead and threw myself out of the aircraft. Which was a shame, really … because everything had been going so well.

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Filed Under: Buffoonery, Life, Marriage

No, really: This job-search thing is like shooting fish in a barrel

May 13, 2010 22 Comments

OK, seriously: What’s with all the hubbub about high unemployment rates in this country? Because I’m still two business days away from my lay-off, and already the job offers are coming at me faster than I can keep up with them. You jobless whiners out there must be a bunch of losers; this job-search shit is even easier than kicking my kids’ asses at Candyland.

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Filed Under: Life

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YE OLDE BLOG

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ABOUT ME

Jon Zal @ The Capitol

I was born in 1970, raised just outside of Boston, and now live near Philadelphia. As a child, I thought I was going to be…
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“And in the end / on Dreams we will depend / ‘ “And in the end / on Dreams we will depend / ‘cause that’s what love is made of.”

Thanks for getting it right, America. 🇺🇸🤘🏻❤️

#VH #BH #TheAmericanDream
Pre-gaming for Sammy Hagar’s (virtual) Birthday Pre-gaming for Sammy Hagar’s (virtual) Birthday Bash, as one does. 

I was at Sammy’s 50th Birthday Bash back during my Van Halen-gig days. Three nights at the @cabowabocantinacabo. It was epic. Now I’M 50. How the hell did that happen so fast?

Looking forward to seeing Sammy & Michael play some VH while I pour one out for Eddie Van Halen. 

Happy Birthday, Sam!

👊🏻🤙🏻🍹🏝
Just voted for Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, and a who Just voted for Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, and a whole bunch of down-ballot Dems.

Make sure you #vote!
#ivoted 🇺🇸
Link to full tribute in profile. R.I.P. E.V.H. Link to full tribute in profile. 

R.I.P. E.V.H.

“You see, to those of us who fell in love with them in our youth, Van Halen has always been more than just a band, their songs have always been more than just music, and Eddie has always been more than just a guitar player; Van Halen was a mood, a lifestyle, a rallying cry, the musical accompaniment to which lifelong friendships were forged, and the soundtrack to some of the best times we’ve ever had.”

#eddievanhalen #ripeddievanhalen #ripevh #vanhalen
I can’t find all the words I need right now to d I can’t find all the words I need right now to describe how much Eddie Van Halen and his music have meant to me over the past four decades. I’ll find them soon & put them in a blog post ... but, for now, suffice to say: I’m heartbroken. #RIPEddieVanHalen
Decided to do something awesome for myself. When Decided to do something awesome for myself.

When I was 12 years old, I started taking weekly drum lessons. Shortly thereafter, I got my first kit. It was just a little acoustic starter set with one broken cymbal that did double duty as both my ride & my only crash ... but it was my very own drum set, and I loved it.

As a complete and utter pipsqueak with seemingly no athletic ability whatsoever, I was never really interested in sports … but I was obsessed with music, and playing the drums gave me a sense of satisfaction & accomplishment like nothing else ever had. 

Things got pretty rocky with both family & school by the time I was around 15 or 16, and the drum lessons fell by the wayside. I still played every now and again — I even sought out a community kit at the rec center on my Army base back in the day — but my skills never really progressed, and, by the time I reached my late 20s, I had pretty much abandoned it.

I always, however, planned to start playing again … someday.

I’m a 50-year-old man. My “somedays” are running out … especially if I want to get good at this. 

“Someday” is now. 

Say hello to my new drum kit. 

(And, yeah, I went with the @larsulrich @metallica sticks ... because why wouldn’t I?)

🤘🏻💀🤘🏻🥁
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