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JON ZAL: Ye Olde Blog

Ye Olde Blog

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Greatest Hits

I’ve narrowly cheated death yet again

July 21, 2017 38 Comments

Jon Zal's tombstone

There are many downsides to being a hypochondriac … but it does have its benefits. Take yesterday, for example.

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: Greatest Hits

Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”

January 25, 2012 48 Comments

One of the many adorable puppies we will not be getting.

Dear My Children:

I’m sorry, but you’re not going to wear me down on this one. Sometimes Daddy has to be a dick. This is one of those times.

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Filed Under: Life, Parenthood Tagged With: Greatest Hits

Another mouth to feed

February 3, 2009 40 Comments

I can’t believe I forgot to introduce you all to the newest member of the family! Where are my manners?

Baby Alive Tink & Poops

This little bundle of joy is Baby Alive Tink & Poops. No, that’s not her real name, but that is what Jayna has been calling her since, like, a year ago when she first saw the commercial. As you can probably surmise, the “Tink & Poops” part means she not only urinates—which is just so yesteryear—but she also defecates. And if there is one thing we need around here, it is a fake baby who shits herself.

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Filed Under: Jayna, Parenthood Tagged With: Greatest Hits

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YE OLDE BLOG

FYI: If you’re reading this, it means you’re in the section of my site that comprises posts from my old, pre-JONZAL.com blog. If you want some more background info about that, you can read this post. If you’re interested in browsing through more of these old posts, you can see them in reverse-chronological order by starting here, or by using the dropdown menu in the “ARCHIVES” box shown below. And if you’d rather just get back to the main area of JONZAL.com, click/tap here.

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  • Moving on ... but you can come with me.
    Moving on ... but you can come with me.

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  • Tanushree on Moving on … but you can come with me.Hello - I started reading your blog 12 years ago as company during lunch at my desk. 12 years on,...
  • Jon Zal on Moving on … but you can come with me.Thank you, Julie! :)
  • Julie on Moving on … but you can come with me.Happy for you, Jon! I'll come with you. Your story about Baby Tink and Poop is still the funniest thing...
  • Jon Zal on Moving on … but you can come with me.Here, yes. Thanks for sticking around, my friend. :)
  • Jon Zal on Moving on … but you can come with me.Thank you so much, Lauren. I really appreciate it. Thanks for sharing those words with me. Happy to hear you’re...
  • Lauren on Moving on … but you can come with me.Jon I'm not sure I've ever commented before but I've absolutely loved reading your posts over the years and have...
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  • Jon Zal on I’ve narrowly cheated death yet againI'm here to help. :)
  • ACWMH on I’ve narrowly cheated death yet againExhausting to be you, sure. But think of it this way: you're not only living your own life, raising the...
  • Valerie on Private: This one hurtsI just came across your post and found it really echoed what I wrote myself. Including the link to the...

ABOUT ME

Jon Zal @ The Capitol

I was born in 1970, raised just outside of Boston, and now live near Philadelphia. As a child, I thought I was going to be…
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“And in the end / on Dreams we will depend / ‘ “And in the end / on Dreams we will depend / ‘cause that’s what love is made of.”

Thanks for getting it right, America. 🇺🇸🤘🏻❤️

#VH #BH #TheAmericanDream
Pre-gaming for Sammy Hagar’s (virtual) Birthday Pre-gaming for Sammy Hagar’s (virtual) Birthday Bash, as one does. 

I was at Sammy’s 50th Birthday Bash back during my Van Halen-gig days. Three nights at the @cabowabocantinacabo. It was epic. Now I’M 50. How the hell did that happen so fast?

Looking forward to seeing Sammy & Michael play some VH while I pour one out for Eddie Van Halen. 

Happy Birthday, Sam!

👊🏻🤙🏻🍹🏝
Just voted for Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, and a who Just voted for Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, and a whole bunch of down-ballot Dems.

Make sure you #vote!
#ivoted 🇺🇸
Link to full tribute in profile. R.I.P. E.V.H. Link to full tribute in profile. 

R.I.P. E.V.H.

“You see, to those of us who fell in love with them in our youth, Van Halen has always been more than just a band, their songs have always been more than just music, and Eddie has always been more than just a guitar player; Van Halen was a mood, a lifestyle, a rallying cry, the musical accompaniment to which lifelong friendships were forged, and the soundtrack to some of the best times we’ve ever had.”

#eddievanhalen #ripeddievanhalen #ripevh #vanhalen
I can’t find all the words I need right now to d I can’t find all the words I need right now to describe how much Eddie Van Halen and his music have meant to me over the past four decades. I’ll find them soon & put them in a blog post ... but, for now, suffice to say: I’m heartbroken. #RIPEddieVanHalen
Decided to do something awesome for myself. When Decided to do something awesome for myself.

When I was 12 years old, I started taking weekly drum lessons. Shortly thereafter, I got my first kit. It was just a little acoustic starter set with one broken cymbal that did double duty as both my ride & my only crash ... but it was my very own drum set, and I loved it.

As a complete and utter pipsqueak with seemingly no athletic ability whatsoever, I was never really interested in sports … but I was obsessed with music, and playing the drums gave me a sense of satisfaction & accomplishment like nothing else ever had. 

Things got pretty rocky with both family & school by the time I was around 15 or 16, and the drum lessons fell by the wayside. I still played every now and again — I even sought out a community kit at the rec center on my Army base back in the day — but my skills never really progressed, and, by the time I reached my late 20s, I had pretty much abandoned it.

I always, however, planned to start playing again … someday.

I’m a 50-year-old man. My “somedays” are running out … especially if I want to get good at this. 

“Someday” is now. 

Say hello to my new drum kit. 

(And, yeah, I went with the @larsulrich @metallica sticks ... because why wouldn’t I?)

🤘🏻💀🤘🏻🥁
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