Your front-row seat to my nervous breakdown
SCENE: Wednesday, Nov. 8, 2006, lunchtime, kitchen table.
“Daddy, why were you dancing and clapping?”
“Well, remember yesterday when you, me and Mommy went to vote?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, the people who we voted for, and the people who we were hoping other people would vote for, got the most votes.”
“… [blink] … ”
“Because the good guys won and the bad guys lost, pal.”
“All right! High-five, Daddy!”
It is election day. The future of our country hangs in the balance. The outcome will determine which party holds sway in Congress … and, therefore, the direction the nation will take during the next few years.
I subscribe to CNN.com’s email alerts, which they send out when an important news story breaks. They are surprisingly restrained in their use of these alerts; many days often pass without a single one arriving in my inbox. In fact, they have so far dispatched only one such alert on this momentous day. It reads as follows:
Britney Spears files for divorce from her husband Kevin Federline, citing irreconcilable differences.
Consider this Exhibit A in a presentation I’m working on titled “Why We’re All Completely Fucked.”