Remember when I wrote the following words back in February?

Donald Trump’s presidency is going to end badly. In just three short weeks, he has made Nixon, the most disgraced president of the modern age, look like an Eagle Scout. Do not doubt for a second that there is a long and ugly fall in Mr. Trump’s future.

Now, I am not the type of person to say “I told you so,” but … oh, who am I kidding?

I
told
you
so!

I mean, come on. Seriously? Did you actually think that the bloviating, racist asshole who launched his political career by falsely claiming that Barack Obama wasn’t a United States citizen suddenly was going to conduct himself in a manner worthy of the highest elected office on Earth? (ProTip: Even if you did, you should never admit it out loud, because — SPOILER ALERT — he didn’t, hasn’t and never will.)

So perhaps you chose to ignore my warning to disavow Trump. Perhaps you’re even one of those delusional lunatics (yes, we’re all looking at you, Sean Hannity) still clinging to the fantasy that Russiagate is a figment of the Democratic party and so-called liberal media’s collective imagination. Whatever the case, here’s the thing:

Trump’s presidency is almost over.

“Hey, wait a minute, you libtard-cuck-snowflake,” I hear you manage to croak out while simultaneously drooling and breathing through your mouth. “The only way to get rid of Trump is to impeach him, which ain’t gonna happen while Spineless Paul Ryan, Mitch ‘Voldemort’ McConnell and the rest of those selfish, greedy, traitorous, unAmerican, Republican asshats control Congress.” (You didn’t actually use all of those words when you offered up your pathetic objection, so I added some for you. You’re welcome.) And, yes, if impeachment really was the only possible remedy right now, I’d have to agree with you that, based on the GOP’s subservience and willingness thus far to turn a blind eye to all of Donald Trump’s egregious behavior so long as doing so allows them to give rich people tax cuts, they are unlikely to step up and do what is both right and necessary.

There is an argument to be made, however, that the very same GOP invertebrates who have enabled the Tweeter-in-Chief’s dismantling of the presidency have begun to realize that they will never be able to advance their self-serving agenda while the country is obsessed with watching Trump accidentally set fire to himself and everyone around him … and this realization might finally force them to grudgingly begin the impeachment process.

Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. Either way, it hardly matters. Here’s why:

Donald Trump is a petulant fucking child who possesses neither the intellect nor the stamina nor the temperament to ride out the epic shit storm he has created.

“The Donald” likes to put his name on things. He likes to talk tough. He likes to be adored and applauded and praised and agreed with unquestioningly. Fortunately for us, however, the Trump name is not bigger than the presidency, and Trump himself is not a real-life tough guy, and the journalists and intelligence agents and law-enforcement professionals who serve the vitally important purpose of protecting our democracy by crawling up his ass with a microscope aren’t required to adore and applaud and praise and agree with him.

And that is why Donald Trump will cut and run like the whiny, pathetic, thin-skinned, spoiled fraud that he truly is.

Listen closely:

Donald Trump will resign from the presidency.

He will. It’s inevitable. We’re talking about a petty, old, curmudgeonly billionaire who, quite frankly, doesn’t need this shit. He thought he was going to be welcomed as a king, not exposed as a charlatan.

Donald Trump will resign … and he will do so not because he knows it is the right thing to do for the good of the country, but because presidenting is hard, and how dare anything in his life be hard? He will resign because it is the easy way out … and he will blame all of the mean meanies in the media and the Democratic party and anyone else who pops into his hollow, dimly lit mind on his way out the door … but the one person he will not blame is himself. He will believe, deep down in whatever rancid little organ lives where his heart should be, that he has been wronged and victimized and unfairly maligned and deprived of the love and worship he truly believes are his birthright … and I don’t give a shit, just so long as he leaves.

Blame whomever you want, Donald. It matters not. Reality does not become any less real simply because you refuse to accept it. You are a fraudulent president who has disgraced the United States of America. You are unworthy of the office you hold, and your unworthiness will most clearly be evidenced by the ease with which you surrender the American presidency in order to return to the pampered, opulent, narcissistic lifestyle you so clearly miss.

On behalf of a country that awaits your departure with bated breath, allow me to say in advance: Good riddance.