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The only thing that feels more alien to me than saying “I’m coaching my son’s baseball team” is saying “I miss coaching my son’s baseball team.”

April 4, 2011 12 Comments

The only thing that feels more alien to me than saying “I’m coaching my son’s baseball team” is saying “I miss coaching my son’s baseball team.”
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Zan has started his fourth season of organized baseball, which also is his first season of organized baseball here in Pennsylvania … and, despite being sired by a guy who, as a child, was a bona fide sports misfit, the kid’s actually an above-average ballplayer for his age. This thrills me to no end.

What does not thrill me to no end, however, is the fact that this also is his first season without me as his coach. I thought I’d like taking a break from the responsibility, and would enjoy watching him from the sidelines. I was wrong.

See, the thing is, I was sort of banking on him being coached this season by someone who actually, you know, knows how to coach a baseball team. As it turns out, in a competition between me and Zan’s coach, I’m the one who actually knows how to coach a baseball team. Apparently, three years of doing the job made me relatively good at it.

Of course, being the control freak that I am, I’ve injected myself into the mix as one of several assistant coaches, so I’m not completely removed from the action. Any bets on how long it takes before I’m officially in charge of the team?

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Comments

  1. Casey says

    April 5, 2011 at 9:35 am

    Ummm, I bet tomorrow.

    Reply
  2. "Susan Says..." says

    April 5, 2011 at 11:14 am

    Coach as long as your son will accept it. I’m sure you’re well aware of the over abundance of idiots out there…..when you see them comaching your kid, it’s the number one reason for homicide in America. My husband coached my boys until high school—they loved it, he loved it, I got carpal tunnel from peeling oranges but it worked.

    My husband did learn the subtle art of being harder on is own kids so not to appear to be giving them special treatment—a crucial skill. Good luck!!!

    Reply
  3. jeanne says

    April 5, 2011 at 11:19 am

    Right after the fuss at the end of the first game.

    Reply
  4. Muskrat says

    April 5, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    How ’bout a month, tops.

    Reply
  5. Pamela says

    April 5, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    hahahhaaa!! Just don’t create ill will with the other dads….. That crap lasts YEARS.

    Reply
  6. Kara says

    April 5, 2011 at 11:36 pm

    Good to hear from you, it’s been awhile since you dropped F-bombs up in my twitter feed 🙂 Your son seems bad ass. Looking forward to hearing how much he whoops up this season!

    Reply
  7. LindaSalem says

    April 6, 2011 at 12:49 am

    Can you become head coach without actually killing the current coach? I mean how is this done in the testosterone world? Over in estrogen we just talk about her behind her back until it gets back to her. She cries and has a hissie fit but eventually goes away. I don’t think it works like that for guys. So do you have to challenge him to an arm wrestling competition or what? Oh man. I just thought if a really ewwww moment. After you depose him, does he get to sit on the sidelines and very, very loudly criticize you? Anyway, good luck in your takeover bid – lol

    Reply
  8. Catherine McP says

    April 6, 2011 at 6:12 pm

    I loved LindaSalems comment! maybe there could be an accident?

    Reply
  9. Kate says

    April 7, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    You want to coach a baseball team, I want to be one of the backstage mothers at my four-year-old’s first dance recital. I believe this is the point where we throw up our hands and admit defeat to Suburbia. Sneaky sucker.

    Reply
  10. William says

    April 8, 2011 at 8:44 am

    Is that a Diamondback hat there? My LL team is also the D-backs.

    Keep telling yourself that everyone is a volunteer. It makes it easier to insert yourself.

    Reply
  11. Juile says

    April 14, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    My husband is coaching my high school daughter’s softball team for the first time this year. He figures at least now he can yell with validity.

    Reply
  12. Cindy Lou Who says

    April 16, 2011 at 1:01 am

    umm..Yesterday?

    Reply

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