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JON ZAL

Your front-row seat to my nervous breakdown

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That trip to Mexico I keep meaning to tell you about, which almost didn’t happen because of my unrivaled ability to be a complete and utter moron

February 7, 2011 33 Comments

About two hours into our flight from Philadelphia to Cancun, I discovered that I had committed The Biggest Fuck-Up of All Time … like, to the extent that I knew it would be best for my marriage if I just went ahead and threw myself out of the aircraft. Which was a shame, really … because everything had been going so well.

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Filed Under: Buffoonery, Life, Marriage

Example of why I have learned to mostly quit while I’m ahead

September 12, 2008 3 Comments

iPhone

Me to my wife after running outside and catching her before she backs out of the driveway so that I can hand to her the cellphone she left on the kitchen counter—the one that I can never reach her on:

“Please keep this on you.”

“I do.”

“Apparently not.”

“Yes, I do. That’s why it was inside.”

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Filed Under: Life, Marriage

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If not for The Force, Darth Vader would have totally gotten his ass kicked, because that suit? Not very practical.

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Dear Gene Simmons of KISS, a.k.a. My Childhood Hero: I think there’s been a terrible misunderstanding. Either that, or you’re an overly sensitive dick.

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Zombie Dinner Party … with your chef, Dr. Hannibal Lector

ABOUT ME

Jon Zal @ The Massachusetts State House, Boston

I was born in 1970, raised just outside of Boston, and now live near Philadelphia. As a child, I thought I was going to be…
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