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JON ZAL

Your front-row seat to my nervous breakdown

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Confessions of a former Daddy Blogger

February 12, 2020 3 Comments

Me

Years ago, in my former, pre-dystopian life, I had a blog where I mostly wrote about the sometimes humorous, always chaotic, generally rewarding experience of parenting two children who were, at the time, very young. I was, in the colloquial term of that fancy-free, pre-Trump day and age, a “Daddy Blogger.”

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Filed Under: Life, Parenthood

50

January 17, 2020 14 Comments

Jon Zal @ 50

Half a century. Yikes.

Listen, I’m optimistic about how much time I have left, but even if all of this working out and healthy eating pays off, an objective reading of the actuarial chart still suggests that I’d have to squint pretty hard to see the halfway point in my rearview mirror right now. Add to that the fact that each year now passes more quickly than the one that came before it and it’s easy to imagine that whatever time I do have left is going to feel exponentially more brief than the previous five decades.

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Filed Under: Life, Personal

The long-overdue “Avengers: Endgame” review that literally no one has been waiting for. You’re welcome.

September 29, 2019 Leave a Comment

My problem with “Avengers: Endgame” is not that it isn’t well-paced or well-shot, or that the story is not well-conceived, or that the action isn’t amazing, or that the actors didn’t deliver great performances, or that the creators failed to bring to life a comic book in a truly eye-popping and heartfelt fashion. To the contrary, the film nailed it on those counts. In fact, as cinematic achievements go, “Avengers: Endgame” is a visual feast filled with some of the most incredible comic-book action ever committed to film, wrapped around a clever plot that, had it not been for my disappointment with some crucial character decisions, would have left me standing on my chair cheering as the credits rolled. My ability to enjoy the many otherwise excellent elements of this movie, however, was insurmountably handicapped by some storytelling choices to which I could not object more.

And so, without further ado, I give you:

“What ‘Avengers: Endgame’ Did Wrong and How It Could Have Been Awesome, According to Some Random, Old Dude with a Blog Who Has Never Created a Comic Book, Nor a Movie, Nor a Comic-Book Movie, Let Alone the Top-Grossing Comic-Book Movie of All Time.”

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Filed Under: Life, Movies, Parenthood

Moving on … but you can come with me.

October 16, 2017 7 Comments

NOTE: The post below is the last one I published at my old blog, much of the content from which I’ve since republished here at JonZal.com.

I launched this blog almost 12 years ago. The writing I’ve done here, and the feedback I’ve gotten from many of you, has made this the most fulfilling creative endeavor of my life thus far.

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Filed Under: Life, Politics

Oh, Chris … not you too …

May 24, 2017 Leave a Comment

corneltim

I got out of the Army in 1991, one week before Christmas. My brother’s gift to me that year was Soundgarden’s “Badmotorfinger.” I was a short-haired, 21-year-old, ex-military cop with my sights set on a career in law enforcement.

Less than two years later, I was a long-haired, college-radio DJ whose daily attire consisted of beat-up combat boots, ripped jeans, flannel shirts and a leather biker jacket. I had discovered I could write, and I no longer wanted to be a cop. Chris Cornell’s voice featured prominently on the soundtrack to my transformation.

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Filed Under: Life, Music

I was going to do some writing, but then A.D.D. and Facebook and WTF were we just talking about?

December 2, 2015 4 Comments

I’ve been meaning to write something awesome … but then this porcupine ate a pumpkin:

I think we can all agree that that is some critically important shit right there, people … and, if not for Facebook, I might have missed it while squandering my time in pursuit of my greatest dreams and ambitions.

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Filed Under: Life, Writing

Dear Gene Simmons of KISS, a.k.a. My Childhood Hero: I think there’s been a terrible misunderstanding. Either that, or you’re an overly sensitive dick.

September 21, 2015 11 Comments

Dear Gene,

I’m not sure if you remember me. It’s been a while since I last wrote to you. Thirty-six years, in fact. Here, let me refresh your memory:

My letter to Gene Simmons of KISS, May 1979
Actual letter I typed to KISS in 1979.
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Filed Under: Greatest Hits, Life, Music, Portfolio

#WarriorDown

September 14, 2015 27 Comments

I called him “Shep,” like, at least two or three times before finally realizing that I’d misremembered (yes, that’s a word now) his last name; it was “Sam Shelby,” not “Sam Shepard.” It was our first day working together, and there I am, calling him “Shep” … repeatedly … because I’m a douche. Of course, when I finally realized (with no small amount of embarrassment) the mistake I’d been making, Sam merely laughed it off and took it upon himself to make the moment far less uncomfortable and awkward than I deserved for it to be … because that’s just who he was.

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Filed Under: Life

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Dear Gene Simmons of KISS, a.k.a. My Childhood Hero: I think there’s been a terrible misunderstanding. Either that, or you’re an overly sensitive dick.

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ABOUT ME

Jon Zal @ The Massachusetts State House, Boston

I was born in 1970, raised just outside of Boston, and now live near Philadelphia. As a child, I thought I was going to be…
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Husband, father, writer, podcaster, drummer, Army vet (M.P. K-9 handler), ex-music journalist. #BlackLivesMatter https://t.co/eyJAWXineA

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
17 Jan 1615495856526094336

53.
Cheers.

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16 Jan 1615067029861552128

Me, January 2022: “I’m gonna get in the best shape of my life!”

Me, January 2023: “This Dunkin’ muffin has blueberries in it, which contain antioxidants. I’m basically working out right now.”

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1 Jan 1609429806529277955

🥳🍾

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
25 Dec 1607047694270484485

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays, everyone. Wherever you are, whomever you’re with, I hope you’re feeling safe, warm & loved.

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
25 Dec 1606878215280250882

Am I the only one who feels compelled to leave on all the Christmas lights — indoors and out — all night long on Christmas Eve? 🎄

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
24 Dec 1606714808526594054

Re-upping this gem for anyone who has, or has had, young children, and fell for this evil marketing ploy under the misguided belief it would actually get your kids to behave during the holiday season.

(Mine were 8 and 6 at the time; they're now 19 & 17.)

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A letter to my children from The Elf on the Shelf

After the display the two of you put on this morning, it has become clear to me that my pixie-ish grin and ...

jonzal.com

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
19 Dec 1604632518732533760

Sportsball is crazy today.

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
11 Dec 1601783691688435712

The only football game I look forward to each year, and this year’s was the best I’ve ever seen. Way to go, @ArmyWP_Football!
#GoArmyBeatNavy

The only football game I look forward to each year, and this year’s was the best I’ve ever seen. Way to go, @ArmyWP_Football!
#GoArmyBeatNavy
U.S. Army @USArmy

Army Wins!

Incredible game and effort by both teams! Proud of @WestPoint_USMA's @ArmyWP_Football, and we salute the @NavalAcademy for a hard-fought game.

#ArmyNavyGame #GoArmy #BeatNavy @CBSSports @NavyFB #USArmy #GoArmyBeatNavy

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Recent Comments

  • JON ZAL on Dear Gene Simmons of KISS, a.k.a. My Childhood Hero: I think there’s been a terrible misunderstanding. Either that, or you’re an overly sensitive dick.Thanks, Linda!
  • Linda Sutton (@LindaSu93798924) on Dear Gene Simmons of KISS, a.k.a. My Childhood Hero: I think there’s been a terrible misunderstanding. Either that, or you’re an overly sensitive dick.I really enjoyed that as well Jon. Very well written and extremely witty. I think I ( who doesn't really...
  • Shirley Maestas on There must be a reckoningAfter several years away from my blog I decided to check it out along with some that I used to...
  • Jon Zal on We did itThanks for the continued support, Robert. Always appreciate it! (And, yeah, meeting John Lewis will always remain an incredible memory,...
  • RUTH FEIERTAG on There must be a reckoningJon, I could not agree more. You point to two of the most dangerous aspects of the last four years:...
  • Jon Zal on We did itAgreed, Geoffrey. The Georgia win is huge. I didn't even let myself hope we'd get both seats. An unbelievably welcome...
  • Jon Zal on We did itI feel your pain, Christinne! Glad you found me. Thanks for writing! -JZ
  • Jon Zal on We did itHi, Ruth. Both the kiddos are very happy about the election outcomes, and horrified by what happened Wednesday. I share...
  • robertleepotter500 on We did itI so love that picture of you with Congressman John Lewis. What a lifetime memory! You are putting your words...
  • christinne on We did itI'm a newbie... So glad I found you!! Can't wait to read more but this has been/is the worst day...

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The kind of Type-A madness that compels me to hang The kind of Type-A madness that compels me to hang 700 lights on a tree of this height and size is both a curse and a blessing. Love having this spectacle in my yard & spreading the holiday cheer. Enjoy! 🎄
We did it! The last time I ran an official 10K ra We did it!

The last time I ran an official 10K race, I was 18 and in Basic Training/Military Police School at Ft. McClellan, Alabama. Let's just say I'm a bit longer in the tooth and wider in the waist than I was then. 🥵

Proud to have legged it out with my boy yesterday to support @travismanionfoundation. Thanks to all who donated. (FYI: Donation link, which is in my IG bio, remains open through the end of the year.)

Official time: 55:28

#RunWithTheMarines
#MCM10K
The last time I visited the Marine Corps War Memor The last time I visited the Marine Corps War Memorial with my son, he was in utero. 😳 This Sunday, I’ll visit it with him again after we cross the finish line at the MCM 10K.

I’m running in honor of my late grandfather, Finn, a Marine who fought on Saipan, Tinian & Iwo Jima with the 4th Division during World War II.

My son and I are are also running to support the great work of the @travismanionfoundation. If you would be willing to help me reach my fundraising goal, I’d really appreciate it. Link to my fundraising page is in my bio. Thanks!
Took over the State House in Boston today with my Took over the State House in Boston today with my sis, @repjamiebelsito!
Insta vs Real Life: How I looked 20 minutes after Insta vs Real Life:

How I looked 20 minutes after finishing yesterday's 5K vs how I looked immediately after finishing yesterday's 5K. 🥵

Happy to have my boy home for the weekend ... except for the part where he passed me mid-run, did the Steve Rogers "On your left" thing & finished two minutes ahead of me. 😜

Him: 24:17
Me: 26:21

Glad we did it.

#911 #neverforget
“Would you like to return to the office?” Um “Would you like to return to the office?”

Um … nah, bruh … not so much. 🤷🏻‍♂️
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