• Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

JON ZAL

Your front-row seat to my nervous breakdown

Bush

It’s gonna be a loooooooong four years

December 1, 2016 6 Comments

Embed from Getty Images

Way to go, Red States! You sure showed us, huh? Wow. Rarely has such an epic act of unbridled stupidity, ignorance, selfishness, fear and hatred been carried out on such a massive scale. Well played!

Why, I haven’t seen anything like this since … well, ever, really … but the prize for second place goes to:

bush-mirror

Hey, look! Another awful Republican candidate who once lost the popular vote but still won the presidency thanks to you backward-assed Red States! (In related news, I’m pretty sure it’s time for that whole “electoral college” thing to fuck right off, m’kay?)

Now, if, back in those days, I had just taken a big sip of something but had not yet swallowed, and you had chosen at that very moment to tell me that I one day would say “The incoming president almost makes me miss George W. Bush,” I’d have done a spit take that would have left you soaked from head to toe in whatever it was I was drinking, plus my saliva, all of which I would have firmly believed you deserved to be covered in for saying something so patently offensive and ludicrous.

And yet … here we are! Sorry for spitting all over you! I just had no idea it could actually get worse.

You see, the thing about Dubya was that he simply … well, let’s just say it: Dubya was a bit dim … and massively under qualified for the gig … and easily manipulated by the Cheneys and Rumsfelds and Wolfowitzs around him. And, yes, that Iraq War thing? That’s still the biggest fuck-up of my lifetime. Can’t really let him off the hook for that one. But at least he wasn’t a vengeful, spiteful, hot-headed, bad-tempered, narcissistic, ego-maniacal lunatic and pathological liar whose entire skill set consisted of self-promotion and self-enrichment at the expense of everything and everyone around him … which, thanks to the combined efforts of a gullible and/or hateful electorate, now means “planet earth.” Nice going, assholes.

And so, on behalf of all us “elitists” — you know, the reasonable, rational, fact-loving, semi-well-informed, relatively clearheaded grownups who overwhelmingly voted for the other candidate — I’d just like to thank you Trump voters for choosing to express your frustration with The Way Things Are by playing Russian Roulette with our collective future. That was a magnificent display of the critical-thinking skills you so clearly lack.

Unfortunately, instead of the immediate “click” or “boom” feedback of a traditional round of Russian Roulette, we’ll have to wait days, weeks, months, and, Satan willing, quite probably years to find out just how badly you’ve fucked us all … but, based on the behavior thus far of our perpetually tantrumming President-elect, I’d say the smart money is on “Oh-so badly.”

All of which is just my way of saying: “Hi! Welcome to my new website!”

I decided to launch ScratchPolitics.com and its accompanying Twitter account as a place to house the politically charged 140-character outbursts and long-winded rants that, since election night, seem to have become my raison d’être. This is where I will be venting my outrage, frustration and incredulity for the duration of Donald Trump’s sure-to-be-horrifying presidency, which I am hopeful will not actually last four years … a sentiment with which I’m sure even Trump himself would agree … because, let’s face it: not even he thought he had an actual chance of getting enough morons to vote for him. Yes, one minute, he’s just trying to up his Q-rating in order to cut a better post-election TV deal, and the next minute, he’s all, “I what? I won? I’m the president?? Oh, shit.” Just imagine his surprise!

I’m not here to change minds; I’m here for catharsis. If I don’t write about this horror show, my head will explode. (Probably, my head will explode anyway, but, hey, at least I’ll get to do some writing first.) But if, in the process, I can add my voice to the collective efforts of those who refuse to normalize this very abnormal situation, then I am more than happy to do so.

Buckle up, everyone. Things are getting really, really weird … and really, really scary.

Good luck to us all.

Filed Under: Politics Tagged With: Bush, Dubya, Trump

Primary Sidebar

Top Posts

  • An Open Letter of Apology to President Barack Obama
    An Open Letter of Apology to President Barack Obama
  • Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 1
    Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 1
  • Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 2
    Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 2
  • Oh, Chris ... not you too ...
    Oh, Chris ... not you too ...
  • There Is No Resistance Inside The Trump Administration. That I Can Tell You. Believe Me.
    There Is No Resistance Inside The Trump Administration. That I Can Tell You. Believe Me.
  • #WarriorDown
    #WarriorDown
  • Hell hath no fury like white-male privilege threatened
    Hell hath no fury like white-male privilege threatened

Subscribe

Enter your email address to receive a notification when I publish a new post. (I will never spam you.)

Twitter

Jon ZalFollow15,74648,044

Writer, podcaster, husband, father, veteran (U.S. Army Military Police K-9) BLOG: https://t.co/VKNuVvMZ3e IG: https://t.co/se86z2v34M #BlockedByTrump

Jon Zal
OfficialJonZal avatarJon Zal@OfficialJonZal·
21h

Douche Level: Boss

Twitter feed video.
Image for the Tweet beginning: Douche Level: Boss
Twitter feed video.
Image for the Tweet beginning: Douche Level: Boss
Twitter feed video.
Image for the Tweet beginning: Douche Level: Boss
Reply on TwitterRetweet on Twitter47Like on Twitter269
OfficialJonZal avatarJon Zal@OfficialJonZal·
15 Feb

jfc I just liked a tweet from Ann Coulter and I’m pretty sure it’s time for Thanos to snap his fingers.

Reply on TwitterRetweet on Twitter150Like on Twitter2114
OfficialJonZal avatarJon Zal@OfficialJonZal·
15 Feb

New ad campaign for Hell.

New ad campaign for Hell.
New ad campaign for Hell.
New ad campaign for Hell.
New ad campaign for Hell.
Red™️@Redpainter1

This looks like the opening for a really bad SNL skit #CPAC

Reply on TwitterRetweet on Twitter58Like on Twitter500
OfficialJonZal avatarJon Zal@OfficialJonZal·
11 Feb

Vacation time. Laying low on Twitter this week. More likely to post on Instagram. Two days at the beach, then waltdisneyworld. 👍🏻🌴 https://t.co/5qEy0ty3aF

Reply on TwitterRetweet on Twitter5Like on Twitter116
OfficialJonZal avatarJon Zal@OfficialJonZal·
8 Feb

As an Amazon Prime member, I believe I am entitled to free next-day shipping on evidence that Trump is directly involved in AMI's attempted blackmailing of Jeff Bezos.

Reply on TwitterRetweet on Twitter42Like on Twitter314
OfficialJonZal avatarJon Zal@OfficialJonZal·
8 Feb

I believe what @RepMGS just did to Matt Whitaker is colloquially known as "de-pants"-ing.

Reply on TwitterRetweet on Twitter12Like on Twitter114

More of me

  • View officialjonzal’s profile on Twitter
  • View officialjonzal’s profile on Instagram

ABOUT ME

Jon Zal @ The Capitol

I was born in 1970, raised just outside of Boston, and now live near Philadelphia. As a child, I thought I was going to be…
Read the rest »

VOTE THEM OUT

Vote.orgOur right to vote is the single most powerful tool we have to fix this mess. Are you registered? Do you know the date of your next Election Day? Do you know where to cast your ballot? Did you answer “Yes” to all of these questions? Good for you! Now go to Vote.org and confirm it again anyway!

VOTE.ORG

Recent Comments

  • GJ on Kamala Harris is running for president, and I am here for itHi Jon, Another great post. I am a retired, native Californian, still fortunate to be living here. We have benefit...
  • Ruth Feiertag on Kamala Harris is running for president, and I am here for itJon, Im not ready to decide for whom I'm going to vote in the primary, but how glorious it is...
  • Carsten Meedom (@MeedomCarsten) on Trump’s presidency is almost overTrump is scary, indeed, but the most scary part is the fact that people voted him in and are still...
  • Carolyn Blakeney on Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 2Another vote for resigning before the impeachment shit hits the fan. He will crawl back to his sewer in New...
  • Dave on Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 2It's often overlooked, but important to remember that Spiro Agnew is an anagram of "grow a penis."
  • Sharon kelly on Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 2Another Great read ! Thanks for posting. Definitely required reading.
  • Jon Zal on Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 2Thanks for the compliment. Glad you liked it. Thanks for coming back.
  • GJ on Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 2Perfectly written. Thank you for posting it. It was worth the wait.
  • Eva on Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 1I’m going to start using the word “beclowned” on a daily basis. (Also, great essay as always, blah blah, yadda...
  • Carolyn Blakeney on Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 1The sweet deliciousness is that 45 is going to eventually go down due to his own demented narcissim. The bitter...

Search

Archives

  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • May 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • December 2012
  • January 2009
  • November 2008
  • January 2007
  • November 2006

Instagram

Follow on Instagram

© 2006–2019 JON ZAL / Contact Me

JZ logo

Twitter / Instagram