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JON ZAL

Your front-row seat to my nervous breakdown

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There must be a reckoning

January 9, 2021 2 Comments

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Listen, I was willing to put it all behind me … the entire four-year-long grift and deadly disaster that has been the Trump presidency. I just wanted Donald Trump gone.

While some debated whether or not Biden’s DOJ should pursue criminal charges against Trump, against his administration, and against his family, I realized that I no longer much cared one way or the other. After four long years of feeling nothing but hatred, disgust and rage for Trump, for his wretched offspring, for his sycophantic enablers, and for his ignorant, brainwashed, racist followers, I was exhausted. I had allowed them all to sap more than their fair share of my energy, and I was willing to give them not one more ounce of it. I just wanted to put this awful chapter in American history behind me, welcome the new beginning that the Biden/Harris Administration represents, and embrace a return to a world in which the president of the United States is not 100% batshit crazy, racist, cruel, incompetent, and a clear-and-present danger to everyone on the planet.

As far as I was concerned, Trump and his entire cult could go spend the rest of their sad lives crying “No fair!” at the clouds while he bilked them out of more money with whatever new scam he could devise. Good riddance.

All of that changed on Wednesday.

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Filed Under: Greatest Hits, Politics, Portfolio

Is it November yet?

June 30, 2020 7 Comments

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For a while there, before things got as unimaginably bad as they’ve gotten, I somewhat enjoyed writing about the unprecedented incompetence, corruption, scandal, and cartoon-like madness of Donald Trump’s chaos presidency. There was mystery and intrigue and reasons galore for me to vent my righteous outrage about the petty, self-obsessed, lizard-brained conman who had ridden a wave of racism, misogyny, ignorance and greed into the most powerful office on earth … and, most compellingly, there was what, on multiple occasions, appeared to be the very real possibility that damning and richly deserved consequences were about to befall him.

It is adorable that Old Me had the capacity for that sort of optimism. I miss him.

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Filed Under: Greatest Hits, Politics, Portfolio Tagged With: Trump

Hell hath no fury like white-male privilege threatened

October 4, 2018 3 Comments

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For a brief moment last Thursday, as Brett Kavanaugh began his opening remarks before the Senate Judiciary Committee, I mistakenly thought he sounded contrite, and the sound that I mistook for contrition led me to believe for just a split second that he might actually take responsibility for his actions, apologize to Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, and withdraw his own nomination.

I think we all can agree it truly is adorable that, nearly two years into Donald Trump’s presidency and long after having had the concomitant realization that everyone with whom Trump surrounds himself is profoundly broken and unfailingly awful, I still was somehow capable of such unrealistic optimism.

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Filed Under: Greatest Hits, Politics, Portfolio Tagged With: Kavanaugh, SCOTUS

An Open Letter of Apology to President Barack Obama

January 16, 2017 81 Comments

P042213PS-0783

Haven’t posted anything new since my piece on the January 6th insurrection. Needed a break. Planning to get back at it very soon, but in the meantime, I’m pinning this entry at the top of my homepage because it is the post of which I remain the most proud, and I’d rather it be the first thing people see/hear than my (justifiably) angry rant about the insurrection. -JZ, January 2023

Dear Mr. President,

Let me begin by saying the two words you deserve to hear cross the lips of every American citizen, whether they know it or not:

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Filed Under: Greatest Hits, Politics, Portfolio Tagged With: obama

Dear Gene Simmons of KISS, a.k.a. My Childhood Hero: I think there’s been a terrible misunderstanding. Either that, or you’re an overly sensitive dick.

September 21, 2015 11 Comments

Dear Gene,

I’m not sure if you remember me. It’s been a while since I last wrote to you. Thirty-six years, in fact. Here, let me refresh your memory:

My letter to Gene Simmons of KISS, May 1979
Actual letter I typed to KISS in 1979.
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Filed Under: Greatest Hits, Life, Music, Portfolio

Take Me Out to the Therapist… Take Me Out to the Shrink…

June 5, 2013 6 Comments

The game of baseball has become a major part of my family’s life … which, based on the following photo, should come as a surprise to no one. I mean, let’s face it: when your background includes playing on a team of this caliber, your family is pretty much guaranteed a baseball-rich life:

Topeka

I’ll point myself out in a moment, but first: How ’bout that coach, huh? He makes Morris Buttermaker look like Anthony Robbins. Of course, in his defense: Look at the collection of misfits he had to work with. I would suggest that his lack of enthusiasm was well justified.

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Filed Under: Baseball, Greatest Hits, Life, Portfolio

Zombie Dinner Party … with your chef, Dr. Hannibal Lector

November 16, 2011 28 Comments

Before dinner

“Ugh. Brains,” I whispered to my wife after the chef announced that the third course would include sweetbreads.

“What?”

“Sweetbreads,” I whispered, “are brains.”

“Oh,” she said, sounding rather amused, though far from relieved. “I thought they were balls.”

Hey, they might as well have been balls, because guess what brains and balls both have in common? Neither one goes in my mouth.

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Filed Under: Greatest Hits, Life, Portfolio

No, really: This job-search thing is like shooting fish in a barrel

May 13, 2010 21 Comments

Pretty sure the fish in the metaphor are presumed to be swimming, but, still … live fish, dead fish … put ’em in a barrel and they’d be easy to shoot is the point, amirite?

OK, seriously: What’s with all the hubbub about high unemployment rates in this country? Because I’m still two business days away from my lay-off, and already the job offers are coming at me faster than I can keep up with them. You jobless whiners out there must be a bunch of losers; this job-search shit is even easier than kicking my kids’ asses at Candyland.

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Filed Under: Greatest Hits, Life, Portfolio

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Take Me Out to the Therapist… Take Me Out to the Shrink…

Is it November yet?

Gene Simmons on stage

Dear Gene Simmons of KISS, a.k.a. My Childhood Hero: I think there’s been a terrible misunderstanding. Either that, or you’re an overly sensitive dick.

Hell hath no fury like white-male privilege threatened

No, really: This job-search thing is like shooting fish in a barrel

There must be a reckoning

An Open Letter of Apology to President Barack Obama

Turns out I have a bright future ahead of me ... in a field about which I know nothing

Man, this finding-a-new-job thing is going to be easier than I thought

Zombie Dinner Party … with your chef, Dr. Hannibal Lector

Van Halen (or, The Band That Ate My Life)

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Sorry for yelling. Just trying to generate some excitement. Anyway ... enter your email address and you'll get a notification when I publish a new blog post. (I will never spam you.)

ABOUT ME

Jon Zal @ The Massachusetts State House, Boston

I was born in 1970, raised just outside of Boston, and now live near Philadelphia. As a child, I thought I was going to be…
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Jon Zal Follow 22,151 51,014

Husband, father, writer, podcaster, drummer 🥁, Army vet (M.P. K-9 handler), ex-music journalist. #BlackLivesMatter

jon_zal
jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
17 Mar 1636874896516034560

If “Dream On,” a track from their very first album, was the only song @Aerosmith ever recorded, and the only lyrics @IamStevenT ever wrote, they’d be the most legendary Boston band ever.

Now factor in the rest of their career. 🤯🤘🏻

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
17 Jan 1615495856526094336

53.
Cheers.

Image for the Tweet beginning: 53. 
Cheers. Twitter feed image.
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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
16 Jan 1615067029861552128

Me, January 2022: “I’m gonna get in the best shape of my life!”

Me, January 2023: “This Dunkin’ muffin has blueberries in it, which contain antioxidants. I’m basically working out right now.”

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
1 Jan 1609429806529277955

🥳🍾

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
25 Dec 1607047694270484485

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays, everyone. Wherever you are, whomever you’re with, I hope you’re feeling safe, warm & loved.

Image for the Tweet beginning: Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays, Twitter feed image.
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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
25 Dec 1606878215280250882

Am I the only one who feels compelled to leave on all the Christmas lights — indoors and out — all night long on Christmas Eve? 🎄

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
24 Dec 1606714808526594054

Re-upping this gem for anyone who has, or has had, young children, and fell for this evil marketing ploy under the misguided belief it would actually get your kids to behave during the holiday season.

(Mine were 8 and 6 at the time; they're now 19 & 17.)

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A letter to my children from The Elf on the Shelf

After the display the two of you put on this morning, it has become clear to me that my pixie-ish grin and ...

jonzal.com

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
19 Dec 1604632518732533760

Sportsball is crazy today.

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The kind of Type-A madness that compels me to hang The kind of Type-A madness that compels me to hang 700 lights on a tree of this height and size is both a curse and a blessing. Love having this spectacle in my yard & spreading the holiday cheer. Enjoy! 🎄
We did it! The last time I ran an official 10K ra We did it!

The last time I ran an official 10K race, I was 18 and in Basic Training/Military Police School at Ft. McClellan, Alabama. Let's just say I'm a bit longer in the tooth and wider in the waist than I was then. 🥵

Proud to have legged it out with my boy yesterday to support @travismanionfoundation. Thanks to all who donated. (FYI: Donation link, which is in my IG bio, remains open through the end of the year.)

Official time: 55:28

#RunWithTheMarines
#MCM10K
The last time I visited the Marine Corps War Memor The last time I visited the Marine Corps War Memorial with my son, he was in utero. 😳 This Sunday, I’ll visit it with him again after we cross the finish line at the MCM 10K.

I’m running in honor of my late grandfather, Finn, a Marine who fought on Saipan, Tinian & Iwo Jima with the 4th Division during World War II.

My son and I are are also running to support the great work of the @travismanionfoundation. If you would be willing to help me reach my fundraising goal, I’d really appreciate it. Link to my fundraising page is in my bio. Thanks!
Took over the State House in Boston today with my Took over the State House in Boston today with my sis, @repjamiebelsito!
Insta vs Real Life: How I looked 20 minutes after Insta vs Real Life:

How I looked 20 minutes after finishing yesterday's 5K vs how I looked immediately after finishing yesterday's 5K. 🥵

Happy to have my boy home for the weekend ... except for the part where he passed me mid-run, did the Steve Rogers "On your left" thing & finished two minutes ahead of me. 😜

Him: 24:17
Me: 26:21

Glad we did it.

#911 #neverforget
“Would you like to return to the office?” Um “Would you like to return to the office?”

Um … nah, bruh … not so much. 🤷🏻‍♂️
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