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JON ZAL

Your front-row seat to my nervous breakdown

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JON ZAL

It’s gonna be a loooooooong four years

December 1, 2016 6 Comments

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Way to go, Red States! You sure showed us, huh? Wow. Rarely has such an epic act of unbridled stupidity, ignorance, selfishness, fear and hatred been carried out on such a massive scale. Well played!

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Filed Under: Politics Tagged With: Bush, Dubya, Trump

The post in which I take a deep breath and try to pull my shit together

November 11, 2016 5 Comments

The pool at Secrets Maroma Beach in Riviera Maya, Mexico
Pretending I’m in my Happy Place so that my head does not explode … (until I remember that this particular Happy Place might soon be on the other side of a giant wall).

Wow. Waaaaahhhhhow. The dude who wrote that previous post was pissed, huh? Daaaaaamn.

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Filed Under: Politics Tagged With: Trump

Well, look on the bright side: At least we … um … you know … uhhh … there’s always … hmmm … OK, I’ve got nothin’. We’re fucked.

November 10, 2016 8 Comments

You know that pivotal scene in “The Matrix” when a hairless Neo wakes up in a gel-filled pod and realizes that, up until that moment, he had absolutely no idea just how awful was the world around him, and just how misguided was he about the truth of his own existence? Yeah, that’s me, right now … minus the “hairless” part. (You’re welcome for that visual, though.)

I apologize in advance if none of the words I am about to type make a shred of sense, but I am deliriously sleep-deprived and deeply rattled by the recent discovery that I now exist in an alternate universe where an angry mob of millions just handed the nuclear codes to an abhorrent, vile, vulgar, uninformed, ill-tempered, bad-humored, intellectually challenged, racist, sexist, misogynistic, xenophobic, greedy, selfish, thin-skinned, petulant, pathetic little bully man-child because “Fuck you, you liberal-elites and all your reasonable, logical, tolerant, fact-based book-learnin’!”

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Filed Under: Politics Tagged With: Trump

This one hurts

April 22, 2016 9 Comments

Prince at the Super Bowl

I’ve lost musical idols before … and when each of them died, I was sad. What I was not, however, was deeply surprised. They were guys who played with fire for years, and it eventually consumed them.

But Prince? Prince? Prince tells the fire what to do. Prince controls the elements. Prince is an element. You can look it up: there’s earth, wind, fire, water, and Prince.

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Filed Under: Inspiration, Music

Interview: Richie Kotzen of The Winery Dogs

December 15, 2015 Leave a Comment

Originally published on Dec 15, 2015 at SoundSpike.com

Back in the early ’90s, Richie Kotzen replaced the original guitarist in the band Poison for about five minutes, and if his brief and unlikely stint with that hair-metal outfit is the only thing for which you know him, then you don’t know him at all. In fact, you’ve probably got the wrong impression.

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Filed Under: Music, Portfolio, SoundSpike Tagged With: Interview, Richie Kotzen, SoundSpike, Winery Dogs

I was going to do some writing, but then A.D.D. and Facebook and WTF were we just talking about?

December 2, 2015 4 Comments

I’ve been meaning to write something awesome … but then this porcupine ate a pumpkin:

I think we can all agree that that is some critically important shit right there, people … and, if not for Facebook, I might have missed it while squandering my time in pursuit of my greatest dreams and ambitions.

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Filed Under: Life, Writing

Dear Gene Simmons of KISS, a.k.a. My Childhood Hero: I think there’s been a terrible misunderstanding. Either that, or you’re an overly sensitive dick.

September 21, 2015 11 Comments

Dear Gene,

I’m not sure if you remember me. It’s been a while since I last wrote to you. Thirty-six years, in fact. Here, let me refresh your memory:

My letter to Gene Simmons of KISS, May 1979
Actual letter I typed to KISS in 1979.
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Filed Under: Greatest Hits, Life, Music, Portfolio

#WarriorDown

September 14, 2015 27 Comments

I called him “Shep,” like, at least two or three times before finally realizing that I’d misremembered (yes, that’s a word now) his last name; it was “Sam Shelby,” not “Sam Shepard.” It was our first day working together, and there I am, calling him “Shep” … repeatedly … because I’m a douche. Of course, when I finally realized (with no small amount of embarrassment) the mistake I’d been making, Sam merely laughed it off and took it upon himself to make the moment far less uncomfortable and awkward than I deserved for it to be … because that’s just who he was.

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Filed Under: Life

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FEATURED POSTS

Turns out I have a bright future ahead of me ... in a field about which I know nothing

Man, this finding-a-new-job thing is going to be easier than I thought

Zombie Dinner Party … with your chef, Dr. Hannibal Lector

There must be a reckoning

Is it November yet?

Take Me Out to the Therapist… Take Me Out to the Shrink…

Daddy Vader

If not for The Force, Darth Vader would have totally gotten his ass kicked, because that suit? Not very practical.

No, really: This job-search thing is like shooting fish in a barrel

Hell hath no fury like white-male privilege threatened

Van Halen (or, The Band That Ate My Life)

An Open Letter of Apology to President Barack Obama

ABOUT ME

Jon Zal @ The Massachusetts State House, Boston

I was born in 1970, raised just outside of Boston, and now live near Philadelphia. As a child, I thought I was going to be…
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