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JON ZAL

Your front-row seat to my nervous breakdown

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Man, this finding-a-new-job thing is going to be easier than I thought

May 12, 2010 32 Comments

Turns out I have a bright future ahead of me ... in a field about which I know nothing
Turns out I have a bright future ahead of me … in a field about which I know nothing

Since learning last week that I’ve been laid off from my job of the past 10 years, I’ve been feeling a bit anxious and unsettled. So imagine my relief when, this morning, just a few short days after uploading to CareerBuilder.com a copy of my résumé, I received the following email:

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Filed Under: Greatest Hits, Life, Portfolio

I FINALLY got to use my passport!

January 8, 2010 26 Comments

Passport

In my mind, I am a worldly, tuxedo-wearing, international man of mystery, jetting to and fro, blending seamlessly with my surroundings … by all appearances a high-class, streetwise native of whatever far-flung, exotic locale in which I find myself.

In reality, I rarely leave the house.

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Filed Under: Life

Wall of shame

April 8, 2009 20 Comments

Oh, Scott. Things were going so well. So well indeed. Alas …

You see, Scott, I am a major control freawok … but, unfortunately, I am neither qualified nor equipped to install Verizon FiOS. Thus, I begrudgingly had to relinquish control and allow you to have free rein around the inside and outside of my house today.

Don’t take it personally, Scott; I get twitchy and anxious when anyone is doing any work on my home of any kind. I always worry that the person performing the work is going to accidentally fuck something up and leave me with a new problem that didn’t exist until they dicked around with whatever it was with which they had to dick around.

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Filed Under: Life

Berated by Bono

March 12, 2009 5 Comments

Bono berating me from the stage.

Um, well, actually, Mr. Bono, now that you mention it …

(Sorry, kids. You’ll get the story, but not tonight. Aiming for tomorrow.)

(Also, FYI: This kind of unfortunate incident can be avoided in the future if one of you would like to make an enormous donation to the “Help Jon Zal Quit His Day Job” fund. I’m just sayin’ …)

Filed Under: Life, Music, Parenthood

Example of why I have learned to mostly quit while I’m ahead

September 12, 2008 3 Comments

iPhone

Me to my wife after running outside and catching her before she backs out of the driveway so that I can hand to her the cellphone she left on the kitchen counter—the one that I can never reach her on:

“Please keep this on you.”

“I do.”

“Apparently not.”

“Yes, I do. That’s why it was inside.”

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Filed Under: Life, Marriage

Hey, Dad, guess what: I also pay a guy to fix my car

August 20, 2008 8 Comments

Four years ago this month, my wife and I closed on our house and joined the ranks of the “homeowners” (a misnomer if ever there was one, because, I assure you, we SO DON’T own this house; Countrywide Mortgage owns not only this house, but, thanks to the plummeting real-estate prices of the past several years, everything in it … but I digress).

At the end of our first winter here, it became apparent to us that the previous owners, in order to make the house they were selling look pretty for the least possible cost, slapped a coat of paint on it with little or no preparation. Their plan worked; we gave them an assload of cash for their pretty house, they vamoosed, and, after less than one year here, we had a house that looked like a giant, pale-yellow scab.

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Filed Under: Life

Subject: No cellphone

July 12, 2008 Leave a Comment

To: [Lots of people]

Hi, this is Jon. I can’t get to the phone right now because it shattered into a million pieces on Interstate 95 early last evening. Its pieces are intermingled with those of the six-hour-old BlackBerry Curve that I received from my employer yesterday. I left both on the roof of my car while transporting my family from point A to point B. Total estimated retail value: $700.

If you need to reach me, please call me on my home phone … which I probably won’t answer, because I’m busy throwing up.

Thanks.

Filed Under: Buffoonery, Life

A bit south of SXSW

March 16, 2006 Leave a Comment

Every year, my co-workers and I mosey on down to Austin, Texas, for the annual South by Southwest music conference—or SXSW, as it is known to we the hip.

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Filed Under: Life, Music

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Is it November yet?

Take Me Out to the Therapist… Take Me Out to the Shrink…

Turns out I have a bright future ahead of me ... in a field about which I know nothing

Man, this finding-a-new-job thing is going to be easier than I thought

No, really: This job-search thing is like shooting fish in a barrel

Gene Simmons on stage

Dear Gene Simmons of KISS, a.k.a. My Childhood Hero: I think there’s been a terrible misunderstanding. Either that, or you’re an overly sensitive dick.

There must be a reckoning

Hell hath no fury like white-male privilege threatened

Van Halen (or, The Band That Ate My Life)

An Open Letter of Apology to President Barack Obama

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ABOUT ME

Jon Zal @ The Massachusetts State House, Boston

I was born in 1970, raised just outside of Boston, and now live near Philadelphia. As a child, I thought I was going to be…
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Jon Zal Follow 22,151 51,014

Husband, father, writer, podcaster, drummer 🥁, Army vet (M.P. K-9 handler), ex-music journalist. #BlackLivesMatter

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
17 Mar 1636874896516034560

If “Dream On,” a track from their very first album, was the only song @Aerosmith ever recorded, and the only lyrics @IamStevenT ever wrote, they’d be the most legendary Boston band ever.

Now factor in the rest of their career. 🤯🤘🏻

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
17 Jan 1615495856526094336

53.
Cheers.

Image for the Tweet beginning: 53. 
Cheers. Twitter feed image.
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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
16 Jan 1615067029861552128

Me, January 2022: “I’m gonna get in the best shape of my life!”

Me, January 2023: “This Dunkin’ muffin has blueberries in it, which contain antioxidants. I’m basically working out right now.”

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
1 Jan 1609429806529277955

🥳🍾

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
25 Dec 1607047694270484485

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays, everyone. Wherever you are, whomever you’re with, I hope you’re feeling safe, warm & loved.

Image for the Tweet beginning: Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays, Twitter feed image.
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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
25 Dec 1606878215280250882

Am I the only one who feels compelled to leave on all the Christmas lights — indoors and out — all night long on Christmas Eve? 🎄

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
24 Dec 1606714808526594054

Re-upping this gem for anyone who has, or has had, young children, and fell for this evil marketing ploy under the misguided belief it would actually get your kids to behave during the holiday season.

(Mine were 8 and 6 at the time; they're now 19 & 17.)

Image for twitter card

A letter to my children from The Elf on the Shelf

After the display the two of you put on this morning, it has become clear to me that my pixie-ish grin and ...

jonzal.com

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
19 Dec 1604632518732533760

Sportsball is crazy today.

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The kind of Type-A madness that compels me to hang The kind of Type-A madness that compels me to hang 700 lights on a tree of this height and size is both a curse and a blessing. Love having this spectacle in my yard & spreading the holiday cheer. Enjoy! 🎄
We did it! The last time I ran an official 10K ra We did it!

The last time I ran an official 10K race, I was 18 and in Basic Training/Military Police School at Ft. McClellan, Alabama. Let's just say I'm a bit longer in the tooth and wider in the waist than I was then. 🥵

Proud to have legged it out with my boy yesterday to support @travismanionfoundation. Thanks to all who donated. (FYI: Donation link, which is in my IG bio, remains open through the end of the year.)

Official time: 55:28

#RunWithTheMarines
#MCM10K
The last time I visited the Marine Corps War Memor The last time I visited the Marine Corps War Memorial with my son, he was in utero. 😳 This Sunday, I’ll visit it with him again after we cross the finish line at the MCM 10K.

I’m running in honor of my late grandfather, Finn, a Marine who fought on Saipan, Tinian & Iwo Jima with the 4th Division during World War II.

My son and I are are also running to support the great work of the @travismanionfoundation. If you would be willing to help me reach my fundraising goal, I’d really appreciate it. Link to my fundraising page is in my bio. Thanks!
Took over the State House in Boston today with my Took over the State House in Boston today with my sis, @repjamiebelsito!
Insta vs Real Life: How I looked 20 minutes after Insta vs Real Life:

How I looked 20 minutes after finishing yesterday's 5K vs how I looked immediately after finishing yesterday's 5K. 🥵

Happy to have my boy home for the weekend ... except for the part where he passed me mid-run, did the Steve Rogers "On your left" thing & finished two minutes ahead of me. 😜

Him: 24:17
Me: 26:21

Glad we did it.

#911 #neverforget
“Would you like to return to the office?” Um “Would you like to return to the office?”

Um … nah, bruh … not so much. 🤷🏻‍♂️
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