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JON ZAL

Your front-row seat to my nervous breakdown

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Kamala Harris is running for president, and I am here for it

January 28, 2019 5 Comments

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When I was much younger and didn’t follow politics closely enough to understand what really was going on, I believed that, regardless of who held the office, the president of the United States was mostly a figurehead — more of a symbol than an actual policymaker with the power to steer the country in one direction or another. Having lived through and followed rather closely the Clinton, Bush, Obama, and, unfortunately, Trump presidencies, and having compared the policy positions of those men with those of the opponents against whom they ran, I know now that I, of course, was wrong — mostly.

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Filed Under: Politics Tagged With: Barack Obama, Kamala Harris, Trump

Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 2

January 17, 2019 5 Comments

Agnew/Trump

Time for a thought exercise. (Don’t worry; it’s an easy one.) Imagine, if you will, that there is a criminal in the White House. Investigators know it. Prosecutors know it. The people closest to him know it. And, of course, the criminal himself knows it.

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Filed Under: Politics Tagged With: Donald Jr., Eric Trump, Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Melania, Richard Nixon, Robert Mueller, Spiro Agnew, Trump, Trump-Russia

Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 1

December 5, 2018 8 Comments

It is human nature to try to make sense of the crazy thing happening before your very eyes by looking at it through the lens of the most similar thing to which it compares, so holding Trump’s aberrant presidency up against that of Richard Nixon is a natural response. The ways in which those two men, their presidencies, and their respective scandals differ, however, are at least as effective at predicting Trump’s fate as are the ways in which they are similar — the most notable difference, of course, being that Nixon was a smart and savvy politician who committed a crime, while Trump is an arrogant fool and dimwitted criminal who accidentally stumbled into the presidency while executing what he thought would be his greatest con.

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Filed Under: Politics Tagged With: Adam Schiff, D.C., Devin Nunes, Nixon, Nunes Memo, Paul Ryan, Trump, Trump-Russia, Watergate

“The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.” -The Blue Wave

November 13, 2018 11 Comments

Well, nice try everybody. I thought we had a pretty good night, but I guess that whole “Blue Wave” thing was just wishful thinking. Turns out there are fine voters on both sides, and the American electorate is evenly split. Half of us are angry, aggrieved, gullible lunatics who believe Hillary Clinton is using George Soros’ ATM card to fund an invading force of leprosy-ridden brown babies from South America, and the other half of us — you know, those who are capable of breathing with our mouths closed — apparently did little more than sort-of cancel out a potential Red Wave. At least, that’s what it seemed like based on much of the Election Night coverage I saw.

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Filed Under: Politics

Hell hath no fury like white-male privilege threatened

October 4, 2018 3 Comments

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For a brief moment last Thursday, as Brett Kavanaugh began his opening remarks before the Senate Judiciary Committee, I mistakenly thought he sounded contrite, and the sound that I mistook for contrition led me to believe for just a split second that he might actually take responsibility for his actions, apologize to Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, and withdraw his own nomination.

I think we can all agree it is truly adorable that, nearly two years into Donald Trump’s presidency and long after having had the concomitant realization that everyone with whom Trump surrounds himself is profoundly broken and unfailingly awful, I still somehow was capable of such unrealistic optimism.

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Filed Under: Politics Tagged With: Kavanaugh, SCOTUS

#WarriorDown

September 14, 2018 4 Comments

My man Sam Shelby cleaning up Wrightsville BeachMy man Sam Shelby cleaning up Wrightsville BeachI originally published this piece three years ago today. I am re-upping it now both because of that anniversary, and because my dear friend Sam was from, and loved, the area currently getting hammered by Hurricane Florence. He was an environmentalist and a self-appointed steward of Wrightsville Beach who, among other things, organized trash cleanups there, and who even launched a green apparel line (Organic Lifestyle Apparel) that, in part, benefits his local chapter of the Surfrider organization, which “is dedicated to the protection and enjoyment of the world’s ocean, waves and beaches through a powerful activist network.” If you are able and so inclined, please consider contributing to that non-profit, and/or to the Red Cross, which will be doing critical work to help people affected by the hurricane.

***

I called him “Shep,” like, at least two or three times before finally realizing that I’d misremembered (yes, that’s a word now) his last name; it was “Sam Shelby,” not “Sam Shepard.” It was our first day working together, and there I am, calling him “Shep” … repeatedly … because I’m a douche. Of course, when I finally realized (with no small amount of embarrassment) the mistake I’d been making, Sam merely laughed it off and took it upon himself to make the moment far less uncomfortable and awkward than I deserved for it to be … because that’s just who he was.

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Filed Under: Personal Tagged With: #MOJOWARRIORS, Hurricane Florence, MOJO WARRIORS, Sam Shelby, Wrightsville Beach

There Is No Resistance Inside The Trump Administration. That I Can Tell You. Believe Me.

September 9, 2018 5 Comments

I work for the president and I can tell you that no one in the White House wants to meddle with his agenda because he is a smart person who hires the best people. And I am not the only one who thinks so. Many people are saying it.

Jon Zal is taking the rare step of publishing an anonymous Op-Ed essay. He has done so at the request of the author, a very, very, very senior official in the Trump administration whose identity is known to Jon Zal and the stature of whose formerly dignified and revered office would only be further sullied by the disclosure of that person’s identity. Jon Zal believes publishing this essay anonymously is the best way to make this bit funny. He does not care what you think about his vetting process. Keep it to yourself.

***

President Trump — who, in a recent poll, was found to be even more popular than Abraham Lincoln, and who probably is the best president in the history of presidenting — is facing a test to his presidency unlike any faced by the 44 much less popular presidents who came before him.

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Filed Under: Politics Tagged With: #TheResistance, Trump

Endurance in the age of Trump, Part 3

September 3, 2018 4 Comments

Well well well … we’ve sure had a full and busy day, now, haven’t we? Yes we have … so much so, in fact, that, were we to write about it, it might end up being an overwrought trilogy that would take us four months to complete. Can you even imagine?

That's a lotta footsteps“Previously, on ‘Endurance in the Age of Trump: An Overwrought Trilogy That Took Us Four Months To Complete’: Jon went on The Most Patriotic Jog of All Time, and then visited Awe-Inspiring Memorials Dedicated to People Far Greater Than Those Currently In Charge, during which he clocked a combined total of almost 25,000 footsteps and covered nearly 14 miles.”

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Filed Under: Politics Tagged With: John Lewis, John McCain, Rod Rosenstein, Trump

Endurance in the age of Trump, Part 2

August 5, 2018 5 Comments

[Click here to read Part 1]

Wow. That was a long shower, eh?

Sorry about the delay; I was busy watching, you know, the country burn down.

Listen, I’m not gonna lie to you: I knew things were going to be very bad under a President Donald Trump, but even I didn’t think they’d get this bad. I mean, yes, I knew he was an unfit, unqualified, ignorant, racist, sexist, misogynistic, xenophobic, narcissistic, pathological liar and conman with a total disregard for the rule of law … but I never imagined he’d be given such free reign to dismantle the presidency, trash America’s standing in the world, and foment distrust of our most critical democratic institutions. Turns out the nearly microscopic sliver of hope onto which I had held that congressional Republicans might actually care more about America than their own selfish interests was wasted on the pack of unAmerican invertebrates who currently control Congress.

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Filed Under: Politics Tagged With: Barack Obama, D.C., Guns, NRA, Trump

Endurance in the age of Trump, Part 1

May 29, 2018 3 Comments

Last October, I visited Washington, D.C., for the first time in over a decade. By the time I left, I felt humbled, inspired, and confident that, when held up against the great Americans, historic accomplishments and tremendous sacrifices memorialized throughout that city, Trump’s shambolic presidency will go down in history as little more than a disgraceful con job that tested and, ultimately, strengthened our democracy.

My faith was further restored during my return this month for what proved to be an unforgettable trip—one that included a chance meeting with a civil-rights legend, no less, but we’ll get to that part a bit later. First, I want you all to know that, minutes after arriving in the city, I tried to save us all:

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Filed Under: Politics Tagged With: D.C., Trump

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Jon Zal 🇺🇦 Follow 23,791 55,187

Husband, father, writer, podcaster, drummer, Army vet (M.P. K-9), ex-music journalist • BLOG: https://t.co/wkEwZclWEe • IG: https://t.co/9PB3Virbbu #BlackLivesMatter

jon_zal
jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
23 Mar 1506728347652567053

Senate Republicans on the Judiciary Committee have used almost all of their time during this confirmation hearing to pander to Q-Anon lunatics. This should terrify everyone. Stop it with the “both sides” nonsense; one of the two major parties in this country is literally a cult.

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
23 Mar 1506727640782225410

Just wondering if Josh Hawley regrets inciting a violent insurrection against the United States Government that resulted in the death and maiming of police officers.

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
23 Mar 1506668483316260868

I am so far removed from the utter insanity of the far right that I keep feeling surprised when someone reminds me that Graham, Hawley, et al, are harping on the child-pornography thing in order to appeal to the Q-Anon conspiracy nuts whose votes are propping up the decrepit GOP.

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
23 Mar 1506643627950456837

Wild that Ketanji Brown Jackson has to teach the Republican members of the Senate Judiciary Committee how the Judiciary Branch works.

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
23 Mar 1506628980320911360

ProTip™: If you twice acquitted Donald Trump & helped him incite a violent insurrection that resulted in dead & maimed police officers, you’re not actually…

(•_•)/
<) ) TOUGH!
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> ON!
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> CRIME!
/ \

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
23 Mar 1506597758555377670

PARENTING UPDATE: Waiting to find out if your first-born child will get into the college of his choice is a special kind of torture.

If this kid doesn't get into this school, I'm going to cry.

(That's him in the George Washington costume he asked for as a 7th-birthday gift.)

Image for the Tweet beginning: PARENTING UPDATE: Waiting to find Twitter feed image.
Image for the Tweet beginning: PARENTING UPDATE: Waiting to find Twitter feed image.
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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
23 Mar 1506422895030976516

Juxtapose Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson’s composure during hours of pointless, racist, pandering attacks from white men not worthy of carrying her laundry hamper to that of this black-out drunk, credibly accused rapist appointed by a credibly accused rapist:

Image for twitter card

Hell hath no fury like white-male privilege threatened

For a brief moment last Thursday, as Brett Kavanaugh began his opening remarks before the Senate Judiciary Committee...

jonzal.com

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal 🇺🇦 @jon_zal ·
22 Mar 1506418152816660480

I love @SenBooker actually making his questioning of Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson all about, you know, *Ketanji Brown Jackson*.

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ABOUT ME

Jon Zal @ The Capitol

I was born in 1970, raised just outside of Boston, and now live near Philadelphia. As a child, I thought I was going to be…
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Photographic evidence that I occasionally leave th Photographic evidence that I occasionally leave the house. Rare … but it happens.
Go @RedSox! #OpeningDay Go @RedSox!
#OpeningDay
New profile pic. Previous one was six years old. S New profile pic. Previous one was six years old. Started to feel like a lie.

Longest my hair's been in 18 years. Planning to let it keep growing for a bit. Not gonna let it get as long as it was Back In The Day (read: down to my chest), but ... I need a change.

Anyway ... that's me now. 👋🏻
Just gutted by this loss. Van Halen, Rolling Sto Just gutted by this loss. 

Van Halen, Rolling Stones & Foo Fighters. That’s my Big Three … and of those three, there’s only one I was banking on as a go-to active interest for the next couple of decades. 

As with Van Halen, I fell in love with Foo Fighters not only because of the music, but because of the fun those guys had with, and love they had for, each other.

Had plans in place to go see Foos play in Oregon this October for the final stop on their now-canceled tour. Can’t believe I won’t get to see Dave & Taylor play together again. 

Dave was the first interview I ever did with someone who wasn’t a member of Van Halen. He let me call him at home one weekend, 22 years ago. Two East Coast guys, same age, drummers, music lovers, shooting the shit on a Saturday afternoon. It remains one of my favorite memories. 

I briefly met Taylor in Austin, TX, back in 2006 when he and his solo band somehow got put up at the same shitty Holiday Inn as me. He was very kind, gracious and cool to this awkward, socially anxious fanboy. Saw him play live that night, his drum kit positioned at the front lip of the stage so he could sing lead and play drums at the same time. Great set. 

I am absolutely gutted thinking about what Dave is going through right now. 

Hadn’t been playing much in recent months. Been sweating it right the fuck out every day since Taylor passed, though. Nonstop Foo Fighters & Nirvana play-along sessions. Only way I’ve been able to channel the grief. Glad I have that outlet. (Thanks for getting my ass behind the kit again, Taylor.)

Really hoping Dave finds a way to make peace with this tragic loss and keep being the joyful soul & inspiration he’s been to so many of us for so long now. 

#RIPTaylorHawkins 🥁💔
#FooFighters
My weekend? Awesome, thanks. How 'bout yours? Ret My weekend? Awesome, thanks. How 'bout yours?

Returned home Sunday and all is well now, but ... man, for a guy who not once in 52 years spent a night at the hospital or experienced a serious medical emergency, I made up for it in spades last week.

Celebrated Valentine's Day with my first colonoscopy. Couple small polyps removed. No cancer found, and no other problems. "Return in five years." Yay! 🥳

Fast forward to last Thursday (2/24), at which time large quantities of nothing but blood began exiting my body via an orifice from which large quantities of blood should not pass. So that was disconcerting.

Pro-Tip™: A good way to skip the wait at the ER is to show them a picture of a toilet bowl filled with nothing but your own blood and then pass out.

Three mostly sleepless beep-filled nights, one CT scan, a couple IV bags, several bazillion blood draws & some bad hospital food later, I was home without any further issues, and, thankfully, no surgery or other medical intervention required.

But, yeah ... hoping to never do that again. 🥴

So, uh, anyway ... how you doin'?
Happy #nationalmargaritaday. 🍹 Happy #nationalmargaritaday. 🍹
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