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JON ZAL

Your front-row seat to my nervous breakdown

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Yes she can

November 2, 2019 12 Comments

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In the wake of this week’s news that Senator Kamala Harris has restructured her campaign to go all-in on Iowa, I feel compelled to make a case for her candidacy … and even if you’re undecided, or you’ve already made up your mind to support someone else, there are good reasons for all of us to keep her in this race.

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Filed Under: Politics

“Stupid Watergate 2”: At last, a sequel that’s better than the original

October 19, 2019 3 Comments

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It seemed like it was going to be so good, didn’t it? That first “Stupid Watergate” movie? The stolen election, the illegitimate president committing obstruction of justice in public over and over, the Large Adult Son tweeting out evidence of collusion with Russia, the American hero poised to take them all down? Man, I really enjoyed those first two acts.

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Filed Under: Politics

The long-overdue “Avengers: Endgame” review that literally no one has been waiting for. You’re welcome.

September 29, 2019 Leave a Comment

My problem with “Avengers: Endgame” is not that it isn’t well-paced or well-shot, or that the story is not well-conceived, or that the action isn’t amazing, or that the actors didn’t deliver great performances, or that the creators failed to bring to life a comic book in a truly eye-popping and heartfelt fashion. To the contrary, the film nailed it on those counts. In fact, as cinematic achievements go, “Avengers: Endgame” is a visual feast filled with some of the most incredible comic-book action ever committed to film, wrapped around a clever plot that, had it not been for my disappointment with some crucial character decisions, would have left me standing on my chair cheering as the credits rolled. My ability to enjoy the many otherwise excellent elements of this movie, however, was insurmountably handicapped by some storytelling choices to which I could not object more.

And so, without further ado, I give you:

“What ‘Avengers: Endgame’ Did Wrong and How It Could Have Been Awesome, According to Some Random, Old Dude with a Blog Who Has Never Created a Comic Book, Nor a Movie, Nor a Comic-Book Movie, Let Alone the Top-Grossing Comic-Book Movie of All Time.”

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Filed Under: Life, Movies, Parenthood

Kamala Harris is running for president, and I am here for it

January 28, 2019 5 Comments

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When I was much younger and didn’t follow politics closely enough to understand what really was going on, I believed that, regardless of who held the office, the president of the United States was mostly a figurehead — more of a symbol than an actual policymaker with the power to steer the country in one direction or another. Having lived through and followed rather closely the Clinton, Bush, Obama, and, unfortunately, Trump presidencies, and having compared the policy positions of those men with those of the opponents against whom they ran, I know now that I, of course, was wrong — mostly.

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Filed Under: Politics Tagged With: Barack Obama, Kamala Harris, Trump

Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 2

January 17, 2019 5 Comments

Agnew/Trump

Time for a thought exercise. (Don’t worry; it’s an easy one.) Imagine, if you will, that there is a criminal in the White House. Investigators know it. Prosecutors know it. The people closest to him know it. And, of course, the criminal himself knows it.

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Filed Under: Politics Tagged With: Donald Jr., Eric Trump, Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Melania, Richard Nixon, Robert Mueller, Spiro Agnew, Trump, Trump-Russia

Game Theory: Stupid Watergate, Part 1

December 5, 2018 8 Comments

It is human nature to try to make sense of the crazy thing happening before your very eyes by looking at it through the lens of the most similar thing to which it compares, so holding Trump’s aberrant presidency up against that of Richard Nixon is a natural response. The ways in which those two men, their presidencies, and their respective scandals differ, however, are at least as effective at predicting Trump’s fate as are the ways in which they are similar — the most notable difference, of course, being that Nixon was a smart and savvy politician who committed a crime, while Trump is an arrogant fool and dimwitted criminal who accidentally stumbled into the presidency while executing what he thought would be his greatest con.

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Filed Under: Politics, Portfolio Tagged With: Adam Schiff, D.C., Devin Nunes, Nixon, Nunes Memo, Paul Ryan, Trump, Trump-Russia, Watergate

“The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.” -The Blue Wave

November 13, 2018 11 Comments

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Well, nice try everybody. I thought we had a pretty good night, but I guess that whole “Blue Wave” thing was just wishful thinking. Turns out there are fine voters on both sides, and the American electorate is evenly split. Half of us are angry, aggrieved, gullible lunatics who believe Hillary Clinton is using George Soros’ ATM card to fund an invading force of leprosy-ridden brown babies from South America, and the other half of us — you know, those who are capable of breathing with our mouths closed — apparently did little more than sort-of cancel out a potential Red Wave. At least, that’s what it seemed like based on much of the Election Night coverage I saw.

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Filed Under: Politics

Hell hath no fury like white-male privilege threatened

October 4, 2018 3 Comments

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For a brief moment last Thursday, as Brett Kavanaugh began his opening remarks before the Senate Judiciary Committee, I mistakenly thought he sounded contrite, and the sound that I mistook for contrition led me to believe for just a split second that he might actually take responsibility for his actions, apologize to Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, and withdraw his own nomination.

I think we all can agree it truly is adorable that, nearly two years into Donald Trump’s presidency and long after having had the concomitant realization that everyone with whom Trump surrounds himself is profoundly broken and unfailingly awful, I still was somehow capable of such unrealistic optimism.

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Filed Under: Greatest Hits, Politics, Portfolio Tagged With: Kavanaugh, SCOTUS

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FEATURED POSTS

No, really: This job-search thing is like shooting fish in a barrel

Van Halen (or, The Band That Ate My Life)

Take Me Out to the Therapist… Take Me Out to the Shrink…

Daddy Vader

If not for The Force, Darth Vader would have totally gotten his ass kicked, because that suit? Not very practical.

Is it November yet?

Turns out I have a bright future ahead of me ... in a field about which I know nothing

Man, this finding-a-new-job thing is going to be easier than I thought

An Open Letter of Apology to President Barack Obama

Hell hath no fury like white-male privilege threatened

There must be a reckoning

Gene Simmons on stage

Dear Gene Simmons of KISS, a.k.a. My Childhood Hero: I think there’s been a terrible misunderstanding. Either that, or you’re an overly sensitive dick.

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ABOUT ME

Jon Zal @ The Massachusetts State House, Boston

I was born in 1970, raised just outside of Boston, and now live near Philadelphia. As a child, I thought I was going to be…
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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
8 Mar 1633596279757639680

Guys, no need to worry about rising energy costs here in Pennsylvania; Big Electric is looking out for the common folk.

I will try to not squander my new monthly windfall.

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
10 Feb 1623836552982851586

When you impersonate Taylor Hawkins and do drumeoke with the @foofighters.

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
17 Jan 1615495856526094336

53.
Cheers.

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Cheers. Twitter feed image.
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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
25 Dec 1607047694270484485

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays, everyone. Wherever you are, whomever you’re with, I hope you’re feeling safe, warm & loved.

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
11 Dec 1601783691688435712

The only football game I look forward to each year, and this year’s was the best I’ve ever seen. Way to go, @ArmyWP_Football!
#GoArmyBeatNavy

The only football game I look forward to each year, and this year’s was the best I’ve ever seen. Way to go, @ArmyWP_Football!
#GoArmyBeatNavy
U.S. Army @USArmy

Army Wins!

Incredible game and effort by both teams! Proud of @WestPoint_USMA's @ArmyWP_Football, and we salute the @NavalAcademy for a hard-fought game.

#ArmyNavyGame #GoArmy #BeatNavy @CBSSports @NavyFB #USArmy #GoArmyBeatNavy

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
9 Dec 1601292680784277505

Can confirm. Mail in the greater-Philadelphia area continues to be a complete and utter clusterfuck ever since Trump hired DeJoy to dismantle the USPS and disrupt mail-in voting.

Can confirm. Mail in the greater-Philadelphia area continues to be a complete and utter clusterfuck ever since Trump hired DeJoy to dismantle the USPS and disrupt mail-in voting.
ChesterCtyRamblings @ChesCoRamblings

Hey @USPS @USPSHelp @OIGUSPS @USPSNewsHQ @CareersUsps @USPSbiz WTF? Why don’t you try to help your individual post offices instead of trying to destroy the Postal Service day by day? @washingtonpost @nytimes @PhillyInquirer FIRE DEJOY ! @POTUS @WhiteHouse

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
9 Dec 1601200554180415489

tl;dr: “I crave attention. The 51-seat majority gave me less of what I crave, so now I’ve found a new way to get it.”

tl;dr: “I crave attention. The 51-seat majority gave me less of what I crave, so now I’ve found a new way to get it.”
Kyrsten Sinema @kyrstensinema

In a natural extension of my service since I was first elected to Congress, I have joined the growing numbers of Arizonans who reject party politics by declaring my independence from the broken partisan system in Washington and formally registering as an Arizona Independent. 1/3

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jon_zal avatar; Jon Zal @jon_zal ·
9 Dec 1601200554180415489

tl;dr: “I crave attention. The 51-seat majority gave me less of what I crave, so now I’ve found a new way to get it.”

tl;dr: “I crave attention. The 51-seat majority gave me less of what I crave, so now I’ve found a new way to get it.”
Kyrsten Sinema @kyrstensinema

In a natural extension of my service since I was first elected to Congress, I have joined the growing numbers of Arizonans who reject party politics by declaring my independence from the broken partisan system in Washington and formally registering as an Arizona Independent. 1/3

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When the @celtics & @nhlbruins both have a playoff When the @celtics & @nhlbruins both have a playoff game on the same night. 🙄 (Might put the @redsox on my iPhone after I post this.) #BostonStrong
The kind of Type-A madness that compels me to hang The kind of Type-A madness that compels me to hang 700 lights on a tree of this height and size is both a curse and a blessing. Love having this spectacle in my yard & spreading the holiday cheer. Enjoy! 🎄
We did it! The last time I ran an official 10K ra We did it!

The last time I ran an official 10K race, I was 18 and in Basic Training/Military Police School at Ft. McClellan, Alabama. Let's just say I'm a bit longer in the tooth and wider in the waist than I was then. 🥵

Proud to have legged it out with my boy yesterday to support @travismanionfoundation. Thanks to all who donated. (FYI: Donation link, which is in my IG bio, remains open through the end of the year.)

Official time: 55:28

#RunWithTheMarines
#MCM10K
The last time I visited the Marine Corps War Memor The last time I visited the Marine Corps War Memorial with my son, he was in utero. 😳 This Sunday, I’ll visit it with him again after we cross the finish line at the MCM 10K.

I’m running in honor of my late grandfather, Finn, a Marine who fought on Saipan, Tinian & Iwo Jima with the 4th Division during World War II.

My son and I are are also running to support the great work of the @travismanionfoundation. If you would be willing to help me reach my fundraising goal, I’d really appreciate it. Link to my fundraising page is in my bio. Thanks!
Took over the State House in Boston today with my Took over the State House in Boston today with my sis, @repjamiebelsito!
Insta vs Real Life: How I looked 20 minutes after Insta vs Real Life:

How I looked 20 minutes after finishing yesterday's 5K vs how I looked immediately after finishing yesterday's 5K. 🥵

Happy to have my boy home for the weekend ... except for the part where he passed me mid-run, did the Steve Rogers "On your left" thing & finished two minutes ahead of me. 😜

Him: 24:17
Me: 26:21

Glad we did it.

#911 #neverforget
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